Coco on Beauty and the Beast Part 2

Transcript

Exactly as spoken. Tap a line to play from there. Contains explicit language.

I can't believe y'all got me talking about this tired ass umm, Beauty and the Beast movie again. But girl, that movie is pure trash.

Like for real, because they got my girl Belle singing a song about how she just too fine and special for her regular ass town full of people that clearly don't got no health benefits.

Like child, this is probably what Taylor Swift felt like growing up. Like I'm more than sure she was feeling like this helper. Because girl, Belle is supposed to be what, seventeen on a good day?

And her daddy got to be what, a few years from seventy four? Like what happened here B? For real, Umm, because he's either on Viagra or he pulling a classic granddaddy got a whole other family" trick because child, I'm, I'm confused.

Because since he about to die, Papa decides to go show his tired ass inventions at the fair. But he must've got lost on the way there, because he clearly chooses the road where dope boys live.

Girl for real, because even his horse is like, "nigga, are you fucking serious?" So it ain't even a surprise when his dumb ass ends up in an evil castle with talking furniture.

Because when the Beast finds him he like, "nah, I don't think so. You getting fuck up." But I guess at this time, you could just arrest anybody.

You know, the good old days when you could just have personal prisoners. I know some people that miss them days. But anyway, so Belle goes to find him and just offers herself up to change places with her dad.

Now mind you, this is for life, not a weekend. So call me crazy, but I just feel like she wanted this. Because girl, it was way too easy for her to be like, "yeah, I'll do it. I signed up as tribute."

And her own daddy's like, "bitch, be for real. This man a whole beast out here. Like what the fuck are you doing?"

And she's like, "No daddy. It's fine. Put me up in the prison for life. I'll be okay."

Now keep in mind that umm, the Beast had a curse put on him by a witch because he was being a fucked nigga on a stormy night. So now? His curse is to have to fuck the baddest bitch in town or live as a beast forever.

And they want us to think that this is somehow a situation. So here she is Beast. Who would've guessed that the baddest bitch in town just so happens to be into bestiality?

So here go Belle dumb ass, changing places with her daddy like, "oh no. Look where I ended up. So what you going to do to me, Beast, huh?

You just going to push me up against that chair?" So um, this is why I wasn't even surprised to find out that the Beast loves birds, because what the fuck is Belle if not a dumb ass bird?

And of course Belle's slow ass is so turned on by this that she got to excuse herself, step behind a tree and gather herself, because she clearly more moist than a beach towel.

Because bitch, at this point, the bar ain't even low no more. Now the bar is giving ocean floor. Nah, fuck that, now it's giving Earth's core, bitch.

So after that they have a date night to they self, and Umm, Miss Potts sings a song called, and you can quote me on this, "I think they going to fuck."

And of course this hating ass nigga is jealous that the Beast is clapping Belle cheeks. So he gathers all the town folk to go knock the door down to the castle.

But the house ain't going down like that so somehow some way, the wardrobe kills a man. Like this look, that man is clearly dead as hell.

And finally, when the Beast got a whole chance to kill his biggest hater, they going to have him spare him, because now all of a sudden he a changed name.

And then here come Bill, like, "Beast." "Beast?" Bitch, what? I'm sorry, you still calling this man Beast? Like girl, at this point it's giving this bitch.

Like girl, honestly? At this point in y'all relationship, why you ain't calling him babe or Boo? Or how about I say his name, like "Greg, don't." Nah for real, like did I miss something?

Because did they just get done fucking and he was like, "okay, so my name is Steve." And she was like, "nah bruh, your name this Don't kill the vibe."

Like for real y'all, I can't stand this movie.